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The toasting that went viral episode 3

Well she talks about you most of the time. So when did u come back??
I could see the exciting looks in her eyes and eagerness for my response. (I would have love to continue, but the toasting had gone wrong). I had to admit but not withstanding "to divert this disaster stirring me like Nigerian police on highways i have to be smart enough to escape when i had the chance. So i smiled and played along. " i came back to the country two days ago dear.(I notice she really wanted to hear the gist). And I was ready to bombard her with lies. So I continued. "i am even regretting because everywhere is just looking local. You will speak to someone and they cant even understand your ascent. The last time i saw a lady and ask what are her hobbies she said she was single. Can u imagine? And you see people walking with chargers. the most annoying people are does coming around for NEPA bills. you know what am saying?" I asked trying to impress by twisting my voice as she kept looking at me. I bet she was impressed for she was smiling (this thing make sense ooo) I said to myself after observing my progress so far. so i continued. Back in the state dey cant try that you know. It is against human and family rights its bull shit women. And I added with illustration " if its guys we say bull shit men" since u are a girl it Is women" and I smiled trying to keep up with the status (I remember that line in black american movies I just don't know if its different when its a girl)... "Hmmm i thought Tina bought card last week and the house uses metre. Why will they even come around?" She asked in disbelief. Ehn! I exclaimed . well I think they may be looking for some bribe Anyway, Tina should know better she concluded.(hearing that from her was a sign of relieved for I was already sweating for making such a mistake I should have known a house like this have nothing in common with NEPA). "I have not talk to her of late because i changed my line she added and offered to give me the new line.  I brought out my torchlight phone smiling to cover any suspicious thoughts (because Nigerian ladies can can write article on a guy by just looking at his phone) i ended the smile by saying my dear this phone is calls only. You know it is easier and this neighbourhood shouldn't be trusted with expensive gadgets from mere looking at the walking steps of the boys passing. she smiled and i was all ready to type. So she called the number and i saved it. "Ok please call me so i can get yours she pleaded".
What da fyuck! I exclaimed silently in calabar for my account is reading -49 naira ...

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